Prepositions and Syncopations: wrangling short sentences

And why it's worth it

Some years back, in the very early days of drafting what has become The Bruegel Boy, I found myself asking this of a group of writer-friends:

Q: Minor rhythm question. Which works best?

1. I pulled my cap down and turned my collar up.

2. I pulled my cap down and turned up my collar.

3. I pulled down my cap and turned up my collar.

4. I pulled down my cap and turned my collar up.

More people liked the fourth than any other, but there was strong support for the first one too. Poet Irene Cunningham said, ‘I like up on the end. It has a final feel to it, almost onomatopoeic because you can feel the shrug of the shoulders.’ Which is exactly one of the reasons I love poets’ input into prose, and why I’m always telling prose-writers to take poetry courses.

Then novelist Louse Cole said, ‘Second for me. The musicality is better and it’s not a self-conscious parallel.’